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Eight years later

September 11, 2009 therevr 1 comment

I was in my office on the morning of September 11, 2001, and the phone rang. It was one of my leading church members, who said: “Go home and turn on the TV, something has happened.” The urgency in her voice was enough that I dropped what I was doing, and a short time later I was standing by the television with my teenage children, watching the news unfold on CNBC: smoke rising from the North tower, news reporters not sure what they were reporting on yet. Watching the screen, at one point I saw something, an airplane flying low, and followed it across the screen with my finger. Then an angry plume of flame burst out the other side of the second tower. Read more…

Journal entry: a dream

August 19, 2009 therevr 1 comment

A fragment, really.

My brain is always active through the night, and as is true with most people, most of the dreams are forgotten before I awake. The few bits that are left, however, would make for amazing cinematography if they could be captured or reproduced. There is also the matter of multiple layers of meaning hovering around the images and events in the dream, something nearly impossible to capture in few words. With those observations to serve as disclaimers, here’s what I found myself remembering this morning, as the eggs were in the pan:

I am somewhere, in a large building, perhaps to attend a convention or other large gathering. It’s a hotel, I think. I’m many stories up, a dozen or more at least, and appear to be alone in the room when the shaking starts.  After a few moments, it is clear that the whole building is unstable, and is about to come down.  The room begins to rotate around me, furniture sliding, the ceiling soon to be a wall.  It occurs to me that I may only have a few more seconds to live.  It also comes across my mind that the same may be true of friends and loved ones, elsewhere in the same building.  As those few remaining seconds become fewer, in my ongoing conversation with God (online all the time; kind of like broadband) I express these concerns, along with just a hint of curiosity about what, if anything, lies beyond.  There is no memory of anything after that.

As has been the case with other such things, there is no sense of fear, or panic associated here.  Not exactly detachment, either; somewhere in the mix was a complex of concerns about unfinished business elsewhere, whether anyone would ever know my passwords or even what-all I have passwords to, with attendant mild anxiety about those things.  But personal fear?  Not really.  Disappointment at the idea of not getting to do anything else?  Yeah.

Ok, that’s it.  A dream fragment, nothing more.  A snapshot. One person, dealing with the question of mortality and the fragility of personal existence.

Categories: Journal, Personal Tags: , ,

I Take This Personally

February 25, 2008 therevr 3 comments

To Another Poet

Write. Just write. Write your heart, write your soul. Write volumes and reams and write without scissors. Write blindly, without looking. Write what you feel, write what you know. And if you feel nothing, if you know nothing, then write what you see. Write, write, if you must, about me. Write, write, write. Write until you drop. Next week you can edit. Don’t stop.

~XineAnn

 

I don’t know if this online friend had me in mind, or someone else —most likely someone else, she has many online friends, and not a few of them write poetry — but since she posted it in a place that she knows I read, I’ll take it as targeted in part, at least, to me. In any case, it’s good advice, and suggests something of the passion that is required for someone to undertake the foolish quest of turning the soul inside out, to reveal one’s heart to a cold and mostly unlistening world, or, more significantly, perhaps, to oneself. Read more…

Spiritual amphibians

February 6, 2008 therevr 1 comment

About a year and a half ago, I stood at the graveside of a near relative and tried to provide some inspired words of comfort for the gathered family and friends. At such a moment, short on sleep and feeling quite vulnerable, it pays to look to Divine inspiration rather than one’s own genius (although anyone who has admired the works of William Blake might well argue that the two are indistinguishable: a discussion for another day). Be that as it may, one of those curious things that happen from time to time occurred on this occasion also. As I spoke, groping for words, what seemed an apt image appeared before my consciousness, and without any time to analyze or filter it out, I just let the words come. I hope my readers will not be offended at the result, in which I compare the likes of you and me to, well, frogs.

What I heard myself say was that we as humans are a sort of spiritual amphibian, belonging both to time and to eternity, in more traditional terms to earth and heaven, but because of that, exclusively to neither. It is that image that I’d like to expand upon for a moment or two here. Call it a parable, or an imaginative metaphor. Let’s see where it takes us.

We live in time, and we are destined to live in eternity. Read more…

Dreaming?

January 20, 2008 therevr Leave a comment

Disney Magic  
Originally uploaded by therev3r.

Look…

Some people think I live in fantasyland…. but I just visited it for the first time this week.

Categories: Journal, Personal

The Magic Kingdom

January 19, 2008 therevr 1 comment

img_0186.jpgOkay, here’s the whole beginning for this story. When I was quite young, maybe four, five, six years old, at some point there showed up at our house in the Berkshire mountains of Massachusetts an eight- or sixteen-page color brochure for Disneyland, the theme park in Orange County, California. Along with my brothers, all of whom were older (can’t count the younger brother yet, he was either not born or at least not yet reading), I pored over those pictures and read and re-read all about Main Street USA, Adventureland, Fantasyland, Frontierland and Tomorrowland; the fabulous Teacup Ride, the perfectly safe but utterly realistic Hippos and Elephants and on and on; and of course the lifesize Disney characters you could talk to. Read more…

Categories: Integrity, Journal, Personal

waiting for United

January 15, 2008 therevr Leave a comment
Personal journal, 1/15/2008: a redundant recording of the date, to be sure.
My bride and I are going to board an airplane together for the first time, so we have discovered to mild mutual surprise, since the trip we took to England in 1978, just within a month of our wedding day. It’s been that long since we’ve really had a vacation (and that wasn’t a vacation, it was a college history class with assignments and mandated places to see in Ye Olde Countree) and here we are, set to go somewhere vaguely exotic for the express purpose of doing nothing, in terms of meeting anyone’s expectations, for ten days. I’ll try to keep a little record of how it goes.

No one has ever accused me (I think) of being what’s called a Type A personality. I’m pretty laid back, but it has been noticed recently that in a certain way I am driven. I surmise that it goes with the territory in my line of work. I’m always looking for the one that got away, the job undone, the parishioner unvisited, the meeting unattended, the notes not taken, the book (alas, the book!) not yet written. I preach a good game about observing the Sabbath, but my own sabbaths are as filled with toil as all my other days. Of course, I pass that off with a mystical slant: in the work of God all is rest and peace, etc., which is certainly true, but one must remember, musn’t one, that it’s best to begin with rest and peace, and use that as a foundation for peaceful (and peacemaking) action. In a world torn by war and conflict, it seems that bustling about in the name of promoting serenity among one’s fellow-creatures is de rigeur. No matter; this weekand next, we decompress, live with no agenda except our own. What will that be like?

What might it be like to live without an agenda? Impossible, of course: one must sleep, and eat, on some sort of schedule, and as the day and night follow one another, the circadian rhythm will to some extent conform. Much work awaits us when we return to our place; perhaps we will do so with a clear mind and fresh insights, ready to take on the challenges that will no doubt be beating at our door. But look, please notice: I got all the way to Paragraph Three before mentioning the work that awaits. A bit of progress, that, isn’t it?

Lately I’ve been trying to express to a few people how I think about big ideas: not in words, in the first instance (though the words come, eventually, on the best of days) nor even in pictures, though sometimes an image can be evoked; rather I think of, or rather look at, big ideas in terms of what I call their shape. Almost it’s like being a blind man in the presence of the proverbial elephant, don’t you know; and now look, I’ve put words and an image on this idea I have about big ideas, and have thus perhaps made it intelligible to some reader, to some degree, but have also limited and diminished it, just as the proverbial blind men do when they try to describe their piece of that elephant to one another. No, I look at, take the measure of, an idea by (not exactly this, but it’s another image) walking around it, perceiving dimly its general shape, too much to get my arms around (there I go again) and undefinable in terms of any single image or set of words, but there it is, an idea, something that can change how I perceive and think about many other things, something that if I can get hold of it, let its shape shape me in some way, will give me a better capacity for interacting with the world as I find it. A preacher’s or philosopher’s or storyteller’s task is to draw that shape around his audience, enfold them in it, so that they feel it themselves, see its outlines, share its space, and begin to articulate in their own ways the images and words that it calls forth.

All of life is poetry. It is the attempt to give expression to the inexpressible beauty and sadness inherent in all things.

First update: Arrived in Orlando a bit late, got the luggage alright, waited in line at the Alamo counter and talked the attendant, somehow, into upgrading us from an economy to a compact…. got the paperwork and walked over to the garage, picked a Chevy Cobalt (just what I wanted). Paid for a full tank of gas upfront, cheaper than paying four dollars and change for them to refill at the end of the rental. Then off we went, with the address of our first night’s hotel and the google map on the iPhone, only to find after a while that we left the airport going south where we should have gone north….. paid two dollars in tolls we didn’t need to, added some driving time, and got to our one-night stop at going on two a.m. The protocol here was to use the courtesy phone outside the door to get the attention of the night attendant. It took about five redials (going to voicemail each time) before he came on the phone. I guess we woke him up. However, now we are here, more or less settling, reading and writing and soon to turn out the lights.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008 7:53 AM: It will take a while to get the two of us in sync. Free of all responsibility, I find myself well rested after just a few hours sleep, but best beloved roused up to worry out loud about my health. Not to worry. Did I say all responsibility? I’m thinking I do need to call the senior center where I would have normally had an event next Tuesday, to let them know I’m not coming. Will sneak off and do that sometime soon.

At the airport last evening, and on the plane, I got to reading The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell. Lots of detailed analysis here of movements and events, with the basic premise being that much can be understood about changes in social behavior if we think of them as structured like epidemics of disease. Gives lots of meat and bones to the little “truth is a virus” meme — and even to the virus-like character of the concept of meme at all. I guess much of his target audience is marketers, people who want to influence behavior. However, the sorts of things he points out do seem to map pretty well onto the spread of ideas all beyond proportion to their beginnings. Got me to thinking of a fellow like St Paul as an infectious agent for Christianity. Methinks he had characteristics of all three of the special personality types —Connectors, Mavens and Salesmen — who contribute to the bringing about oflarge-scale change.

Notes on the visit to the Magic Kingdom to be continued in the next entry.

Time-wise

October 12, 2007 therevr 1 comment

Time flies by without new posts, so here’s one just so both my fans will know I’m still here. 

Not sure what to do about the accelerating pace of modern life; in thought experiments about relativity, Einstein tells us that subjective time slows dramatically the faster we go, so that when we accelerate to close to the speed of light and approach the event horizon it seems more  and more like everything  else is slowing down.  

I don’t know about that.  

Read more…

A Tipping Point

September 4, 2007 therevr Leave a comment

This post was used as a basis for comments made at the September 8, 2007 “chew and chat” held in Nanjemoy, MD and sponsored by participants in the Delusional Duck, a local blog.  

….. is when what seemed impossible begins to seem inevitable.  Since some of us have many impossible goals, we need to be pushing toward tipping points in relation to each of them, one at a time.

  A very wise man once said, “If you have faith  even as small as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Be uprooted and be cast into the sea,’ and it will be done for you.” The tipping point is reached when faith is exercised.

I rather think  that for many of us, the real tipping point is the decision point.  

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Philosophickal Ruminations – Mystical Musings

July 16, 2007 therevr Leave a comment

Philosophickal Ruminations – Mystical Musings

Dragged from the archives just because….

Some observations, in the form of parables:

One: There is general agreement among the wise of many traditions that below the root or foundation of all that is, that which gives rise to the existence of all that is cannot be named as if it were among the elements of existence that have come into being. A shorthand way of saying this is that the name of God is unknowable, and any name used is at risk of becoming a blasphemy in short order. The Hebrews protected themselves from this danger by means of a prohibition (”thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain”) as well as the fact that both of those words, Lord and God, were descriptive titles and not meant to be names at all. The Pagans, or some of them, seem to assume a different tack: by naming or identifying a variety of gods and goddesses, they acknowledge that the Mystery that binds all into unity and gives rise to the diversity they celebrate, itself/himself/herself cannot be named.

Two: Everything in the Universe, and the Universe as a whole, is a manifestation or a revelation of the divine Reality that brings us into being and sustains us; each is in some sense a complete and definitive revelation and manifestation of the same, and wants nothing else; yet none can be said to be that Reality in fullness. That is to say, everything that can be said of God reveals some truth, yet at the same time falsifies that truth, if it is taken, shall we say, too seriously. 

Read more…